Monday, March 28, 2011

When Are the Auditions for the Next X-Men Movie?

I think I'm a shoe-in to play the part of Magneto's girlfriend.

You see, this past summer I had a surgical procedure done and two little pieces of metal were implanted inside me.  After that, I began to notice that I was setting off metal detectors, particularly at Target & Anthropologie.
"It must be my phone."
"Maybe it's my car keys."
"The buttons on my coat?  My handbag?  My earrings?"
While I was in Anthropologie last month, I asked the staff to work with me to find out what it was.  After all, I've flown a handful of times since the surgery and make it thru the airport just fine-so it couldn't be ME, could it?  Eventually they had me stripped down to my yoga pants and t-shirt and the detectors still went wonky as I passed thru.  "I think it's you," the girl said.  Ohhh yeah...  I hadn't made the connection until just then.  It's me.

Now, I find it hard to believe that Target employs more sophisticated metal detectors than the TSA, but maybe so.  Now I just smile as I beep on through-"It's just me" I say & wave, waiting for the day some overzealous security guard grinds me into the pavement and I can retire.

Until then, it seems I have my own little super power...  although I'm a better fit for "Mystery Men II".

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