In 40-some-odd years on this planet, I have learned many complicated things. I can drive a straight shift, fix a toilet, create a delicious meal (OK: edible) out of MacGyver ingredients, cross one eye and leave one staring straight ahead while arching one eyebrow* (a look that reels them in like moths to a flame BTW), tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue, and say the alphabet backwards. (It occurs to me that many of these skills were learned during the ever-formative college years.)
So it is beyond me why, to this day, I seem to be completely unable to apply mascara without poking myself in the eye.
Sigh.
*Do not try the cross-eye trick at home or without the proper supervision of a bartender.
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