I like to think of myself as a responsible human being. Caring, giving and all that jazz... I recycle, rescue animals, shop at thrift stores, the whole bit.
But let me walk past the sliding doors at Ikea, and Katie bar the door. I MUST CONSUME.
For Heather's birthday, we decided a road trip was in order. To Atlanta. To Ikea.
We spent FIVE hours in that store. FIVE hours. I can't believe it's possible to spend that kind of time in a store where you aren't trying on clothes. Man, if Ikea had shoes, we'd still be there.
We both said "oh, I don't need a cart" when we walked in the door. By the time we walked out FIVE HOURS later, I had two of those giant yellow bags and a shopping cart piled high. I don't know what Heather had, I couldn't see her.
We started the trip saying "next time, we should ask so&so to go with us" and ended up saying "next time, we need to drive separately--can you see out of the rearview mirror?"
On the way home, I pulled out my receipt and started cataloging everything I had purchased:
a comforter
a duvet
3 bars of chocolate
5 packs of apple cookies (delicious)
12 roman shades (some of which I will tie-dye! Whee!)
6 mirrors (don't worry; I have a plan)
a floor lamp (quite possibly the only thing I actually needed, except the chocolate)
a folding side table
paint (to paint the folding side table)
a stuffed dog for my favorite 2 year old
a silicone bunt cake pan... (hmm.... )
an egg slicer (okaaaayyy....)
and about halfway down the list, here's where we go off the rails a bit:
a meat thermometer
We both laugh so hard I thought we were going to have to pull over. It was roaring, snorting, tear-rolling, snot-blasting, really, I' m serious, maybe we should pull over the car, screaming fits of laughter.
Because I'm a vegetarian.
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