Thursday, August 16, 2012

Yul Brynner Vs. The Baby Skunk

I was last man out at the office tonight, so it was up to me to set the alarm.  Plink-plink-plink-plink.  "Armed. Away. Exit Now."  I swung open the big metal door, letting it clang shut behind me.

I wasn't ten feet away when I spotted a fuzzy tail in the grass.  "That's an ugly-lookin' squirrel" I thought.  A couple steps closer and my heart jumped into my throat.  He turned and looked at me nonchalantly.  I slammed my entire body against the side of the building.  That's no squirrel; that's a baby skunk.

Cue "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly" theme song.

I guess I could have gone back inside the building, but I really, really, really wanted to go home.  And in order to get to my car, I would have to pass within 4 feet of PePe.

I would have to run for it.

Running.... bleck.

There's a stand-up routine by comedian Bill Hicks about Yul Brynner and Jim Fixx.  Look it up, if you aren't squeamish about profanity.  The gist of it is this-- Jim Fixx ran every day of his life, ate tofu, and preached the gospel of clean living.  Yul Brynner drank like a fish, smoked his brains out and ran around chasing the opposite sex.  They're both dead now.  Jim's in his casket with a look like "where did I go wrong?"  Yul's in his casket with a sloppy grin on his face.
It boils down to this--I'm a Yul kinda girl.

The skunk waddled toward me and I took off like a shot.  Well, in my case, a whiskey shot aged for 40+ years...

Yul lives to fight another day.


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