Before You Make a Mistake (An Open Letter to Someone I Love)

Tomorrow someone I love is announcing "big news" and I await the announcement with bated breath & maybe a bit of trepidation.  Trepidation because the person making the announcement is young, inexperienced in the ways of the world, honest and brave.  Each of those attributes alone are admirable, but packaged all together... well...  rose-colored glasses almost always end up shattered, don't they?  

Here goes:

Dear Grasshopper,

I've been thinking about your pending announcement all day and since I'm better at writing than speaking and you are better at reading than listening, I thought I'd just jot down what I have to say.

I'm worried that you are going to make a mistake; maybe a big one.  You could be making a mistake that leaves you penniless and alone.  You could be making a mistake that ruins your life.  You could be making a mistake that ENDS your life.  I'm terrified that you might be doing something you can't undo and can't take back.  I'm stricken by the thought that you haven't thought this through and horrible things will happen.  You have no idea the misery that might await you.  

So what are you waiting for?  Go for it.  

I remember when I was younger and sought out the advice of my elders.  "Don't do that," they'd say; "You'll regret it."  So I wouldn't do whatever foolhardy thing they advised me against and you know what?  

I. REGRET. NOT. DOING. IT.  

When I listened to their advice, I saved myself some heartache, no doubt.  

And when I didn't, sometimes (most of the time) I made mistakes.  

And when I didn't bother seeking anyone's input at all, sometimes (most of the time) I made GIGANTIC, HORRENDOUS, LIFE-ALTERING mistakes.  And I don't regret them.  

Let me repeat, in all caps and in bold: I HAVE MADE GIGANTIC, HORRENDOUS, LIFE-ALTERING MISTAKES AND I DO NOT REGRET THEM.

I learned from them.  My successes mean more because of them.  My life is richer because of them.  (It's also poorer and any political aspirations I might have had are in the gutter.)

But here's the catch: when someone offers you practical advice, you can't get angry that someone loves you enough to try and save you from pain & disappointment.  You also don't get to blame your mistakes on someone else.  You don't get to say "you didn't tell me...."  People who live their lives on their own terms don't hide behind other people.  People who live their lives on their own terms don't care about other people's expectations.  They step up to the plate and they swing.  If it's a hit, they take the credit and if it's a miss, they take the blame.  Let that be you.

I hope that tomorrow's announcement is grand.  I hope that whatever path you are taking is a wonderful adventure.  But just in case it's a mistake:  Own it.  Learn from it.  Get up and swing for the fences again.  Enjoy your life.  I'm on your side.  

I love you,

B.